Saturday, January 21, 2012

Mourning the One-on-One

Crazy Hat Day at school 2012
January marks Teddy's fifth month of Kindergarten.  That also means it's been five months since he and I regularly had one-on-one time two days a week.  More than that, actually, because other than a few weeks of Charlie-only summer camp last summer, Charlie was with us on those days as well.  I've noticed lately that my unique relationship with Teddy has changed significantly in these months.  

Because of all the time we spent together from the time he was two until he went to Kindergarten, I was really Teddy's go-to parent.  Bumps, scrapes and emotional bruises tended to send him looking for Daddy.  I also knew more about what he'd done during the day and even understood him better when he talked than his mother did.  We had our routines: the places we'd go together and the way we'd accomplish tasks.

It's different now.  I still enjoy the part-time stay-at-home dad advantage over his mother in the amount of time I get to spend with him, but I spend no more time with him than I do with his brother.  Although he still leans to me a little more for emotional and problem-solving support, I've seen that unique position erode a little bit.  This development isn't bad; it's just new.  Noticing when my relationships with the boys change helps me to slow down and try to appreciate whatever stage we're in.  Knowing that the current m.o. will morph and or end soon increases my affection for it.

1 comment:

Anne H. said...

Cool crazy hat and a darling photo. Did you guys rig it up? Your post is poignant. Everything changes and childhood is fleeting. My little guy is looking at 30 his next birthday.