As I read Lori Gottleib's aricle How to Land your Kid in Therapy from the June Atlantic (yes, I'm months behind reading the Atlantic), I was blown away by the analysis. I've seen the patterns she describes in parents, young kids and young adults and heard a lot about them from others. Gottleib, though, nails the explanation behind how we found ourselves in this position. She culls discussions with parenting experts, sociologists, teachers, her own life experience and her therapy practice to explain why kids with perfectly happy childhoods don't always end up as perfectly happy adults.
It features the Most Delicious Pull-quote Ever by Jeff Blume, an LA family therapist: "If a therapist is telling you to pay less attention to your kids' feelings, you know something has gotten way out of whack."
Topics covered include: -trophies for every kid in the league -noncompetitive sports (oxymoron!) -parents who won't leave campus when dropping off freshmen -how a lack of community in general casts the parent-child relationship very differently than a few generations ago. -how too much choice can be bad for kids. Parenting with Love & Logic has to be used in moderation, too. Must read, people.
The name of this blog is a political statement about fatherhood. Regardless of the progress toward gender equality that has occurred over the last several decades, one stereotype persists and may be getting worse: moms are good parents and dads are incompetent boobs who sometimes babysit. Poppycock, I say. Or an excuse for dads who would like to be viewed as numskulls so that they don't have to parent their kids. Dads are parents too, and I know some who are very good at it.
I'm neither a stay-at-home dad nor do I work full time. I work part time, and I'm the primary parent for the foreseeable future. The primary competent parent, I hope it is not presumptuous to say.