As I read Lori Gottleib's aricle How to Land your Kid in Therapy from the June Atlantic (yes, I'm months behind reading the Atlantic), I was blown away by the analysis. I've seen the patterns she describes in parents, young kids and young adults and heard a lot about them from others. Gottleib, though, nails the explanation behind how we found ourselves in this position. She culls discussions with parenting experts, sociologists, teachers, her own life experience and her therapy practice to explain why kids with perfectly happy childhoods don't always end up as perfectly happy adults.It features the Most Delicious Pull-quote Ever by Jeff Blume, an LA family therapist: "If a therapist is telling you to pay less attention to your kids' feelings, you know something has gotten way out of whack."
Topics covered include:
-trophies for every kid in the league
-noncompetitive sports (oxymoron!)
-parents who won't leave campus when dropping off freshmen
-how a lack of community in general casts the parent-child relationship very differently than a few generations ago.
-how too much choice can be bad for kids. Parenting with Love & Logic has to be used in moderation, too.
Must read, people.
I was fascinated by that article. In particular, I was not aware of what had become of metropolitan area youth sports leagues. Who is anyone kidding by not keeping score?
ReplyDeleteSports without keeping score is like church without Jesus.
ReplyDeleteInteresting post Jeff. I hadn't thought about how not only a lack of community but the massive changes in the way kids spend their time, affect their relationships.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a kid we went into the woods, made paths and hideouts, went to some vacant lot and played baseball, were off on our own and independent. I can remember my mother not knowing where I was but saying, "be home before dark." I have to think that was a good way to grow up.
Thanks, Jeff. Good to read this article.
ReplyDeleteIf you had fun, you won and deserve a trophy. That's what I think. The three most important things in parenting: nurture, nurture, nurture. - Mike Jackson
ReplyDeleteMike, nice sweater.
ReplyDeleteAnother thank you for bringing this article to my attention.
ReplyDeleteForgot to ask: what in the article goes against P w/L and L? I read the article; I have read P w/L and L although it was a long time ago. I guess I've forgotten some of the important bits?
ReplyDelete